


Reading Is Fundamental

by kronette



Series: In Bed [7]
Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Season/Series 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-01
Packaged: 2018-01-03 02:39:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rimmer is constantly being woken up by Lister...studying. What had he unleashed onto the world?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

After the revival of Holly, they were all able to draw a deep breath and settle into new routines. Lister returned to his studies, doubling up on his classes as he pushed to make up for lost time. Despite the workload, his grades ticked up, and Rimmer had been woken up most nights by Lister's muttered revising. 

That night, he was only aware of Lister's late-night studying when the bed shifted. Lister's murmured, "Sorry," was muffled by the pillow, but it was loud enough to drag him from sleep – again. 

Ten minutes later, Rimmer was staring at the far wall, mentally cursing his exasperating partner. Damn Lister and his determination to learn to read. If he hadn't encouraged Lister, he'd be asleep, dreaming of giant death worms covered in red cotton. As it was, he was in for another sleepless night while Lister dropped off from exhaustion. 

He sighed soundlessly as he berated himself. He encouraged Lister because he wanted his lover to do well, and he was proud of the smegger. He just wished that Lister had his early morning attitude. Lister had always been a night person, and compromise had come after a hard-fought battle to establish their sleep routine. Rimmer had played dirty – waking Lister with strong hands and a quick tongue at six in the morning. Lister had retaliated well after midnight with equally devastating effects, thus ensuring they were both exhausted and useless to get any work done for days. 

It was Kryten who had ordered Lister back to bed when he fell asleep on the keyboard in the drive room, setting _Red Dwarf_ spinning like a top. When Rimmer couldn't stop laughing, Kryten had ordered him to bed as well, and they'd slept the day away. 

Rimmer smiled in the darkness at the memory. Maybe sleeplessness had its upside.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the third night that week, Rimmer was woken up by the soft sounds and subtle movements of his lover. The familiar scent of highlighter hit Rimmer's nostrils and he groaned, "Not again, Lister."

For the third night that week, Rimmer was woken up by the soft sounds and subtle movements of his lover. The familiar scent of highlighter hit Rimmer's nostrils and he groaned, "Not _again_ , Lister." 

"I'm studying for me exam in the morning," Lister murmured. 

"Go to _sleep_ ," he begged quietly. "You'll do better if you're well-rested." 

It wasn't as if he didn't know Lister had an exam the next day. He'd made a timetable of Lister's schedule in his report binder, somewhere he knew Lister would never look. He knew every exam score: mostly Cs with a few Bs sprinkled in, far better than anything that Rimmer had achieved. 

The part of Rimmer that used to be terrified by the thought of not being in command had slowly been overtaken by pride and love for Lister's achievements. He still had a small knot of fear that their relationship would change when Lister passed his final engineering exam – and Rimmer had no doubt now that he would – but he would deal with that when the day came. 

That day was less than three months away, and Rimmer couldn't sleep. Lister couldn't, either, as Rimmer heard a page turn behind him and felt the brightness of the small light above their headboard. Giving up on sleep, he turned over and placed his hand over the textbook, forcing Lister's bleary-eyed attention away from it and onto him. 

"Dave," he began quietly. "You won't fail this exam, just like you haven't failed any of your previous exams. The more you obsess about it, trying to cram all the bits you think you don't know into your head right before the exam, the more you'll end up forgetting." He closed the textbook and used it to leverage himself up to press a kiss to Lister's lips. "You'll pass the exam because you've already become an engineer, with the repairs you've done to the ship and Kryten over the years." He leaned in for another kiss, Lister responding eagerly. 

He licked his lips and launched into a variation of the speech he'd planned for Lister's graduation day. "You'll pass the exam because you've always done what you set out to do. You never give up, you never admit defeat, and it's not just your optimism that keeps you going." Lister's eyes were shining in the half-light, and Rimmer felt the hot prick of tears in his own. "I believe in you, David Lister, and I love you for the man you were and the man you've become. I couldn't be prouder." 

A wobbly smile teased at Lister's mouth. "You're just saying that to distract me from my nervousness." 

Rimmer haphazardly flung the textbook toward the foot of the bed, keeping his gaze on Lister. "Is it working?" he asked huskily, drawing Lister down into a deep kiss. Because it was late and Rimmer was tired, he brought Lister off quickly, finishing himself off a minute later. 

Sticky but too exhausted to do anything about it, Rimmer accepted Lister's arms around him and was asleep in minutes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rimmer had not forgotten his promise to do something special for Lister. When the idea came to him, it was so simple that he actually slapped his head at not having thought of it sooner.

Rimmer had not forgotten his promise to do something special for Lister. He was just at a loss what he could give his lover that he didn't already have. There wasn't anything he needed materialistically, as the ship provided whatever they needed. 

Emotionally, Rimmer felt he'd done everything he could to show Lister how much he meant to him, short of proposing marriage, and that was a preposterous idea. Lister didn't believe that a piece of paper formalized a relationship, and Rimmer didn't believe in the political claptrap and contractual obligations. They didn't need to prove to themselves or anyone else that they were committed to each other; the past twelve years spoke for themselves. 

When the idea came to him, it was so simple that he actually slapped his head at not having thought of it sooner. Two ideas, actually, and he'd need Holly's help. He waited until Lister was in class before addressing the wall.

"Holly?" he called nervously. 

Holly blinked on and gave him a once-over. "What's doing, Arnold? You're looking a bit dandy this morning." 

Rimmer straightened in his chair and smoothed his tunic with nervous fingers. He'd fussed with his hair for over an hour, trying to get it back to military precision without success. Lister's influence once again – Rimmer had stopped gelling his hair years ago, since Lister preferred the looser curls. He needed to look important and authoritative for what he was about to do. "Holly, I'm still listed as Lister's superior in the databanks, correct?" 

Holly bobbed his head as he performed the scan. "Looks like it. What's this about, then?" 

He took a deep breath and voiced his fears. "Will the JMC have any issues with me – as Lister's lover _and_ superior – giving a recommendation for his promotion?" 

He thought Holly had malfunctioned, as he looked like he was frozen in still-frame. "You, Arnold Rimmer, who have failed the astronav examination no less than nineteen times, want to recommend Dave for promotion?" 

He felt his face heat as he nodded. "That's right." 

"Gordon Bennett, it must be love," Holly muttered. "Give us a mo'. I need to confer with the onboard computer." 

His leg jittered nervously under the table as he chewed on his fingernail, another bad habit he'd picked up from Lister. It took forever for Holly to reappear on screen, looking faintly shell-shocked. 

"All right, here's the deal. I've got a list of questions for you to answer. If all goes well, then I'll record your recommendation and submit it." 

He blinked. He expected outright rejection, not this faint hope of possibility. "What sort of questions?" he asked eagerly. 

Holly rattled off: "Space Corps Directive 8843.299 subsection A, paragraph 4: In the event that a superior officer is in a position to recommend a subordinate for promotion, and said superior and subordinate are in a sexual relationship, the following questions must be answered and evaluated before the recommendation can be submitted and a final decision whether to accept the recommendation can be made." 

His heart sank and his shoulders slumped. Even if he was allowed to make the recommendation, the Directive read like it could still be rejected. He didn't want to go through the embarrassment of undoubtedly personal questions just to end up being denied. He _wanted_ this for Lister. He knew Lister could pass the engineering exam on his own, but he wanted it on record that he _believed_ in Lister, that he was proud of him and was honestly, truly happy that his lover had done so well. It was no longer about what _he_ didn't have; it was about what Lister _did_. He took a deep breath. "How many questions are there?"

Holly looked a bit peaked. "Thirty. You sure you want to go through with this?"

He folded his hands on the table and nodded. "I'm sure." 

"I'm not sure _I_ want to go though with this," Holly whined piteously. "I don't want to know this much about you and Dave. 'The first time you had intercourse, who penetrated who?' Cor, I don't want to know!" 

Embarrassment flamed his face, but he cleared his throat and answered, "I penetrated Lister. Next question?" 

Holly spluttered. "Bloody hell, that wasn't even the first question!"

He felt like sinking through the floor, but he was determined to do this for Lister. "So what's the first question?" 

Holly's eyes shifted back and forth as if he were reading, then he shook his head. "No. No way am I reading these out loud. You can answer them on the screen." Holly blipped off and the monitor next to the table flickered to life with the full list of questions. Rimmer stood on unsteady legs, walked over to the keyboard and began to type. 

Fifteen horror-filled minutes later, he hit the 'submit' button and staggered back to the table, collapsing into a chair. That was worse than any medical exam he'd ever undergone. A medical exam would have been less intrusive than the things he'd just had to share about his and Lister's sex life. As bad as it had been, the next part was worse: waiting. "Holly, how long will it take to evaluate my responses and decide if I can offer a recommendation for promotion?" 

It took Holly a minute to respond. "Looks like about an hour. No, fifteen – no, ten minutes. No." Holly's eyes widened and he shook his head. "Bugger me, you've been approved. Whenever you want to record your recommendation, you're good to go." 

"That fast?" he blurted out, shocked that it had taken less than five minutes. 

It looked like Holly shrugged. "You've been in a relationship for twelve years. Dave hasn't sought a promotion in all that time. The fact that he's nearly done with his engineering courses and it looks like he'll pass without any influence from you means it's a no-brainer. You can say what you like; Dave will still probably pass and be promoted." 

His mouth slowly lifted in a smile. That was all he needed to hear. He smoothed his hair and tunic one more time, then straightened his shoulders. "Right then. No time like the present. Ready, Holly?" 

Holly switched over to record mode, and Rimmer was suddenly staring at himself on the vid screen. "I am Second Technician Arnold J. Rimmer, superior to David Lister, Third Technician, on board _Red Dwarf_. This is my formal recommendation for Lister to be promoted to Warrant Officer, through the rank of Engineering Technician. Over the past 25 years, David Lister has shown he is incredibly adaptable to any situation. Without waiting to be called upon, he has demonstrated initiative and skill in engineering and technical support. On no less that three occasions, he has rebuilt our service mechanoid, Kryten, from a rubbled heap of parts back into tip-top shape. Since losing the crew, David Lister has show remarkable fortitude in the face of unimaginable odds. He's single-handedly repaired most of the systems on this ship, from the mainframe, navigation, internal and external sensors, fire suppression system, HVAC…he's done it all, and with little to no assistance. His full list of repairs is on file." 

Rimmer broke from his prepared speech with a small smile teasing his lips. "He's quite simply the most amazing man I've ever met. He never gives up. He never loses hope. He's an example to everyone who's ever met him." 

His gaze drifted to the side of the screen as he steeled himself for ripping his soul bare. "If you're watching this, Dave, I want to you know…I'm so damned proud of you. I know you don't need this promotion, because you've done passed the exam and you're an engineer already. But I want you to be more than that. You deserve more. You've worked your ass off for this ship, for us, and you deserve all the riches of the universe. But I know you don't care about things like that, so this is my pitiful attempt to show you how much I love you. I'm giving you the chance I never had. I'm giving you the encouragement, the love, the opportunities I never had, because I didn't have someone like you in my life. The past twelve years have been the happiest of my life. You turned me from a bitter, cold man into who I am today, David Lister, and for that there are no words in any universe to say 'thank you'." He blinked back tears. "These are the simplest and most complex words I've ever said to another human being, and I've only ever said them to you: I love you, Dave. End recording." 

He waited for his image to blink off, then went over to the sink and splashed cold water on his face. His insides felt like they'd been through a blender, his mouth was dry and his limbs shaking, but he felt as if he'd just won every lottery ever invented.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rimmer gets even for his sleeplessness nights, not that Lister objects...much.

Rimmer felt his eyes pry themselves open against his objections. He'd been _enjoying_ sleep, damn it. He'd fallen asleep waiting for Lister to come to bed, his lover having been stuck aligning the external sensors to Holly's satisfaction. "Shut it off," he grumbled and pushed his face deeper into the pillow, but it was no use. He could still see the reading light and it was waking him up. 

Thankfully, the offending light was extinguished a moment later and Rimmer felt Lister settle down behind him. With the familiar weight pressed against his back and the arm settled over his waist, Rimmer drifted back to sleep. 

He woke up later than usual to find Lister at the table, eating what passed for breakfast for him. He stumbled out of bed and went to the kettle to pour his tea, then sat across from his lover, glaring at him. "What was so important you had to read it in the middle of the night?" 

Lister swallowed his bite before he calmly answered, " _The Kama Sutra Volume XII: Zero Gee_. I got to page 36 before you ordered lights out."

His penis gave an interested twitch as he choked on his drink. Lister, the git, burst out laughing. "Bastard," he growled. 

Lister waggled his eyebrows. "Yeah, but if it did exist, you'd be willing to try page 36, wouldn't you?" 

Rimmer watched Lister's mirth die away as he stated in all seriousness, "You know that if it was for you, I'd try anything once." Rimmer no longer felt tired. In fact, he felt energized and ready to go. He made a show of licking his lips, enjoying the minute shifting Lister was doing in his chair. 

"No, _please_ Arnold," Lister whined. "I just got dressed. I haven't even finished me breakfast." 

Rimmer splayed his fingers on the table, lips curving upward in a wicked grin. Between his smirk, licking his lips and making a display of his fingers, Lister didn't stand a chance, but he had one last ace to play. "The amazing thing about clothes, _David_ , is that they come off as easily as they go on." 

He knew damn well that when he called his lover by his full name, in that particular tone, Lister went from zero to ready to go in ten point four seconds. He could see the fine trembling where Lister's fingers gripped the edge of the table, rapidly losing control, his entire body primed. 

Lister's heated gaze raked over him as he ordered, "Get over here and fuck me already, Rimmer."

He shivered. After all their years together, Lister's mouth was still a direct line to his dick. With effort, he walked around the table to stand next to his lover. 

Lister pulled him down by his pyjama top, licking into his mouth to steal his breath. His arms came around Lister, pulling him off of the chair and pressing him back against the table. 

There were several reasons why Rimmer loved his acquisition of the large, round table: it was sturdy, it was easily cleaned and it was just the right height for what he intended to do to Lister. 

He made quick work of Lister's pants, shoving them down to his knees before his own pyjama bottoms tangled around his ankles and he stepped out of them. With one last lick to Lister's mouth, Rimmer spun his lover around and bent him over the table, Lister shoving plates out of the way as he braced himself. Rimmer dug into Lister's jacket pockets to locate a packet of lube. 

"You turning into a Space Scout?" he asked as he opened the packet and began to stretch his lover. 

"Learned from the best," Lister gasped and wriggled his bum further down on Rimmer's fingers. "Aren't you going to finish undressing me?" 

Rimmer looked down at Wilma Flinstone and the rest of Lister's hand-painted artwork. "If I'm careful, will you keep the jacket on?" he breathed. 

He heard Lister moan into his arm on the table. "Yeah; yeah, keep it on. Keep your shirt on, too. Only fair." 

Despite his promise to be careful, Rimmer leaned over and rested his forehead just above Wilma's hairdo. "What you do to me, Listy." 

"Get on with the doing already, Rimmer," Lister demanded in an unsteady voice. 

With a shaky breath, he angled himself and began to push inside Lister, listening for the changes in breathing that signaled Lister was ready for more. Rimmer groaned as he tried to keep the pace slow and steady, but Lister had other ideas. It was all Rimmer could do to hang on as Lister shoved back against him, breathing harshly onto the table. Lister was jerking himself off, Rimmer could tell, and it set off a series of small bursts of pleasure deep inside of him. 

Far too soon, Rimmer felt the build-up begin and whined. 

"Need to…" Lister panted beneath him. "Almost..." 

"Come on, David," he moaned, feeling sweat trickle down his temple. His mind was halfway to blissed out, so his higher brain cells weren't exactly functioning, but he knew that dirty talk would push Lister over the edge. "I'm already buggering you; do you need me to suck your balls, too? What about next time, I use a cock ring so I can stay hard inside you? Bet you'd like that; feeling me in you for days and days…"

Lister shouted, then trembled beneath him, lost in his orgasm. Rimmer slammed himself deep into his lover, crying out only seconds later. 

He'd managed to keep himself off of Lister's jacket only just, as he'd held himself upright with his hands on the table and his elbows locked. His arms shook with the effort to keep standing but he didn't dare let go. As he slipped out of Lister, he collapsed back onto the chair to catch his breath. 

Groaning, Lister pushed himself off the table and turned around, propping himself up with his elbows on the table. He looked down at his sodden trousers around his knees and groaned again. "I need new pants." 

Rimmer managed a half-hearted smirk. "You need a shower, too. I'll wash your back." 

Lister sent him an annoyed look that was utterly ruined by the sated, sleepy look in his eyes. "You've done quite enough already, mister. I'm late for class as it is. A shower with you would take the rest of the morning."

Rimmer raked his gaze down Lister's body, his cock twitching again. "Would that be so bad?" he mused. 

"You can't be serious, Rimmer," Lister gaped at him. "I'm going to be feeling this all day." 

He closed his eyes and tilted his head back as he reached down to rub fingertips along his penis. "Keep talking, Listy," he begged softly. 

He heard Lister's unsteady, "You're insatiable," but when nothing further was said, Rimmer opened one eye. He didn't see Lister in the immediate area, then he heard the shower start. He sighed; it was worth a try. 

He pushed himself out of the chair and laid back down in bed, filling his mind with images of Lister as he stroked himself back to hardness. As his second orgasm washed over him, he felt something cold slap against his chest. "Hey!" he yelped as the wet towel dropped onto his hand.

Breathing hard, he glared up at Lister, who was looking down at him with amusement mixed with a hint of pride. "Randy bugger." Lister managed to get a bit of disgust into his tone, but the affection was thicker. 

Rimmer wiped his hand on the towel. "I offered you a chance at round two," he reminded his lover. "It's not my fault you're a conscientious student," he teased. 

Lister looked as though he'd swallowed a lemon dipped in petrol. "That was uncalled for," he exclaimed with a hand over his heart as he backed out of their quarters. "See if you get any tonight." 

He winked lasciviously. "That works both ways, miladdo." He was still chuckling as Lister slapped their door shut, his expression horrified. 

Humming to himself, he pulled off his wet pyjama top as he walked into the shower, hoping that Lister had left him some hot water.


	5. Examination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lister's second thoughts threaten to derail Rimmer's plans.

"I'm not taking the final exam," Lister announced quietly at breakfast, the day before the exam. 

Rimmer's spoon clattered into his tea, splashing the hot liquid onto the table. His insides twisted uncomfortably as he demanded, "Why not?" 

Lister was intensely focused on his food as he dragged his fork through the eggs, swirling the yolk across the plate. "I don't need a piece of smegging paper to prove that I'm an engineer. It's like you said awhile ago; I'm already doing the work of one." 

"That's not what I meant," he snapped, pushing himself away from the table. "This is just cold feet, or nerves," he reasoned. "Change is always scary. You're just scared; it's natural."

"It's not nerves and I'm not scared, Rimmer," Lister stated calmly, his gaze flitting just past Rimmer's eyes. "What you said made sense. So why put myself through the smeg of the exam? I know I'll pass; that's all that matters." 

Rimmer grew suspicious as Lister's gaze wouldn't meet his. Lister had been nearly killing himself with revision every night, foregoing sleep and sometimes even sex in order to learn as much as possible. With a sick feeling in his gut, Rimmer thought he knew what Lister was doing. 

"Don't you dare," he warned. "Don't you _dare_ give this up because of me." Lister's guilt-laden eyes met his and Rimmer _knew_. "I won't be the reason you don't fulfill your dream." 

Lister leaned forward and jabbed his finger onto the table to emphasize his words. "It's not my _dream_ , Rimmer. It was something to do; something to give my life meaning." Lister reached across the table but Rimmer pulled his hand back from the touch. " _You_ gave my life meaning. Engineering – it's just a job, isn't it? What we have is a life together." 

Rimmer felt like his heart was being pulled in fifty different directions. The captain's uniform had been a fading dream for so long, he barely recognized it. Lister's wicked grin, his soft smile, the way his eyes closed in pleasure when Rimmer called him 'David'; those images filled his dreams and desires. His successes and failures as Ace, the misunderstandings and fights with Lister upon his return, all their relationship problems – it all clamoured for attention in his brain. One thing stood out, though, and his voice was thick with emotion as he said, "You can't honestly expect me to make love to you, knowing that you gave up something so important for me." 

Tears glittered in Lister's eyes as he tried to explain, "I don't want this coming between us, Arnold. I know what being an officer means to you, and with me passing my exam…" 

Rimmer interrupted, his eyes sparkled with anger. "When was the last time you heard me mention the astro-navs?" He didn't bother to wait for Lister's answer. "I'll tell you: nearly eight years ago. The more I fell in love with you, the less important the pips meant to me. I don't want to be an officer, Lister. My father and brothers drilled that idea into me, but it was never what _I_ wanted." His anger faded to wistfulness. "After all these years, I still don't know what I want to do with my life." He smiled faintly and amended, "Except be with you." 

Lister's heavy gaze searched his face. He didn't know what Lister was looking for, but he could tell when Lister found it: his jaw set and his expression softened with tenderness. "All right, Rimmer. I'll take the exam, on one condition." 

Not liking the gleam that had entered Lister's eye, he cautiously answered, "Okay." 

Lister let out a breath. "You take it with me." 

He blinked, positive that he'd misheard. _Lister_ was the engineer, as proved by the faint ash-and-grease smell that stubbornly clung to him when he slipped into bed. The combination set Rimmer's blood pumping, and had nothing to do with realigning the sensors or upgrading Kryten's processor; it was pure Lister. "What?"

Lister's steady gaze met his, and determination shone along with love. "It's just like I told Holly; you've done your fair share of repairing the ship and you've helped me revise. There's no reason not to give it a try."

"What?" he repeated faintly, shaking his head in the hope that it would clear the cobwebs and things would start to make sense again. "Holly? What does Holly have to do with this?"

The guilty expression returned to Lister's eyes. "I, em, may have mentioned to Holly all the things you did in repairing the ship, including fixing him. And Holly may have suggested that I write a commendation for your efforts and put it in your file." 

His brain felt numb. All the work he'd put into getting Lister promoted…and Lister was doing the same for him? "How could you?" he blurted out stupidly. 

Lister reeled back in his chair as if he'd been slapped. "Rimmer, what? I thought you'd be happy!" 

"Of course I'm happy, you great ninny!" he yelled, tears filling his eyes. "It's the same thing I've been doing for you. I recorded a formal recommendation for your promotion to Warrant Officer once you passed your exam. You were supposed to outrank me and now you've gone and ruined it!" 

Lister crumpled before his eyes. "You've done what now? A promotion – for me? You did that for me?" 

Rimmer twisted his fingers together and stared at the table. "You weren't supposed to know until after you got your results. It was a surprise; a graduation present from me. I wanted to do something for you, as a thank you for everything you –" the remainder of his words were swallowed by Lister, and he clung to his lover as tightly as Lister was holding onto him. 

They were laughing and crying as they kissed, the release of emotions too much for Rimmer to process. He held onto the side of Lister's neck as he pulled back, licking his lips. "I wanted a way to thank you, to show you how much I love you. Nothing will ever be enough, but I could give you this." A tear slipped down his cheek. "I could give you the promotion you've earned. I could show you how proud I am of you. And I'll…" he bit his tongue before he said anything further. He would _not_ spill his final secret to Lister. He was determined that Lister wouldn't know about his final gift until the time was right, and that was along way away. 

Thankfully, Lister seemed too caught up in his own emotions to notice his slip. "You don't need to prove your love to me," Lister murmured into his temple, lips pressed against his skin. "You do it every day just by looking at me. I love you, Arnold. You've made me the happiest man in all of existence." 

Embarrassed, he tucked his head beneath Lister's chin, sighing as he felt the heartbeat thumping beneath his ear. Tomorrow would be an interesting day.


	6. The Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The future is what we make it.

Exactly one-hundred and two years later, Rimmer rested his head lightly on Lister's chest, listening to the faint, irregular heartbeat. He felt fingers in his hair and lifted his head, smiling as best he could.

His throat was tight and his own heart had ceased beating when Kryten had given the final prognosis after years of hope. Kryten had slipped out of their room only a moment ago, sensing that Rimmer needed to be alone with his lover.

"It's not allowed," he said, his voice thick. "I won't permit it."

A faint chuckle left Lister gasping for breath and Rimmer clenching his fist until he shook. Not yet. Not _yet_. "No choice, love. I'm tired." A glimmer of the cheeky grin lifted the corners of Lister's mouth. "And I still outrank you."

He choked on an aborted laugh. "Always rubbing my nose in it. I got you that promotion, miladdo," he murmured, an old joke that had followed them down the decades. He unclenched his fist to run his fingers through Lister's gray-white curls, smoothing his thumb over the wrinkled forehead.

"Going to miss your touch," Lister sighed.

Rimmer looked around the room, fighting back tears. He would _not_ cry in front of Lister. "Even my cold feet every morning?" he choked out.

The faint smile deepened. "Especially your cold feet every morning. I love you, Arn."

He cupped Lister's cheek and bent down to kiss his lips. "I love you with the power of every star in the universe, Dave Lister." When he pulled back, Lister's eyes were closed.

Rimmer's insides started to shake. " _HOLLY!_ " he screamed. "Activate now! Do it now!" He didn't notice the tears streaming down his face or the hysteria in his voice, just the unmoving chest of his lover of the past 114 years. Then he didn't notice anything as his deactivated light bee hit the floor.

The light bee lifted up as it turned back on, initializing a new program. Lister, aged about 45, a reflective 'H' on his forehead, stood silently. He looked around their quarters, confused. "Rimmer? What's –" he doubled over as a hundred thousand memories assaulted him in one second, a lifetime crammed onto a disk, force-fed into his processor. He fell across the bed, screaming as his mind tried to cope with everything at once.

He heard a voice calling him, not in his head. It was in the room. He opened his eyes to see Kryten peering down at him, his face twisted into an ugly mess of emotions. "Mr. Lister? What happened? Why are you…how did…where's Mr. Rimmer?" The emotion that won out was confusion, and Lister could sympathize.

"I don't know, Kryten," he answered, his voice raw and his head aching. "Holly, give us a hand. Where's Arnold?"

A cold feeling of dread settled in Lister's gut as an envelope appeared in his hand. "I best let Arnold explain, Dave," Holly said, then blipped off as quickly as he'd appeared.

Kryten did an odd shuffle, then without a word, turned and left their quarters, closing the door behind him.

Lister stared down at the cream-colored envelope, his name written in Rimmer's neat handwriting. Some sixth sense told him not to open it, but he had to know what happened. He was a hologram. Rimmer was a hologram. Holly could only sustain one hologram. Swallowing, he slid the note from the envelope and began to read.

> _I thought of a dozen ways to start this letter to you, but none of the greetings could convey my love for you, so I'll settle for the tried and true:_
> 
> _Dave,_
> 
> _I know you're confused and angry with me, and you have every right. By now you've realized what I've done, and no doubt you're cursing me to the ends of the universe. But I have one damned good reason for doing what I did. I did it for you. I've been a selfish coward most of my life, with a few shining moments of bravery and selflessness._
> 
> _This is my gift to you: an act of love, of bravery, of selflessness and hope, that you will continue on with Kryten until you get back to Earth. And I'll be with you. I'm not speaking metaphorically – I've downloaded my memories onto your personality disk, so you'll have me with you for eternity. Every memory of us, I share with you. My soul, such as it is, is inside you. Everything you ever wanted to know about me, you now know. And the one overriding emotion you'll feel is love, because I love you so much that I'm willing to sacrifice myself so that you can live. And I want you to live, David Lister. Live for both of us._

The paper fluttered to the floor as his insides seized, and he clutched as his chest though no heart beat inside it. "Holly!" he yelled, gasping for breath he didn't need.

The sympathetic gaze of the computer annoyed him. "How are you feeling, Dave?"

"I feel like smeg, thanks for asking," he seethed. "Turn him back on. I'm the one who died; bring Arnold back."

Holly shook his head. "I can't do it, Dave. Arnold set up protocols so that it couldn't be reversed."

"He what?' Lister raged. "That inconsiderate smeghead!" He stomped around the room, muttering to himself. "How dare he take the easy way out. Leaving me alone without him, when _he's_ the reason I…"

_David._

Lister froze as he heard Rimmer's voice in his head. "Arnold?"

_This was my decision. Don't take it away from me. It's truly the one thing I could give to you that meant as much to me as you do. You are my life, Dave, and now I'm yours._

Lister fell heavily to the bed, staring at the pictures covering the wall – him and Rimmer, their family of just the four of them, happy and alive and…"How am I supposed to go on alone, Arnold? How can I sleep without you by my side?" A tear slipped down his cheek. "We were together over a _hundred years_ , Arnold. How can I recover from that?"

He listened to the silence in his head, feeling more dejected with each passing second, when he was engulfed in the most intense, warm feeling of love he'd ever experienced. When he regained his senses, he was lying on the bed, shaking and dazed. "What was that?"

_That is what I feel for you, Dave. Every second of every day. Now do you see?_

He wrapped his arms around himself and huddled into a ball on their bed, the taint of sickness tickling his nose. "Yeah, I see," he answered quietly. "Doesn't make up for the cold bed I'll be sleeping in, though, does it?" he added morosely.

Rimmer's voice didn't reply, and Lister let out a weary sigh.

=-=-=-=

135 years later…

A light bee floated in midair, a body forming slowly around it, topped by curly hair and a prominent nose. Then a blue uniform, still crisp, and highly polished black shoes. The hazel eyes opened and locked on the ancient brown eyes staring intently at him.

His voice should have been rusty with disuse, but holograms don't have actual vocal cords. Even so, his voice shook as he whispered, "Dave?"

Tears filled the beloved eyes, and a wrecked, wretched, " _Arnold_ ," cried out from the depths of Lister's soul. A heartbeat later, they were in each other's arms, kissing as though the universe were ending.

The remainder of Rimmer's note read:

> _There's a spare light bee in my locker on F deck. I've kept it there from my Ace days, in case something went wrong with my bee. If by some miracle there are humans left on Earth, or you stumble across new technology to allow Holly to sustain two light bees, then you can reactivate me using that bee. It's programmed to filter out just my memories and data, leaving your memories intact._
> 
> _I will love you until the universe burns out, and beyond._  
>  _Arnold_

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This series is done. Thanks for reading!


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